I don’t drink alcohol very often. Most of it tastes terrible to me. When I was of grammar school age, a relative left an almost empty bottle of whiskey at our house. My siblings and I wanted to taste those last few drops. Instead, our mother removed the bottle top and allowed us to smell the whiskey, which we all hated. We didn’t want to taste it then.
My father enjoyed a drink now and then, but there was rarely any alcohol (beer, whiskey, wine) in the house in my youth, and I didn’t miss it. When classmates started sneaking beers from their parents in high school, the whole thing seemed odd. A ninth-grade classmate drank three cans of beer on campus after school once and was a little woozy. Some classmates were laughing about it. I wasn’t interested.
I went to college and discovered that many college students drink alcohol. I was as shocked as you are. Once with some college friends, I decided to drink a beer I was offered. Maybe I was missing something. I couldn’t get over how nasty it tasted. My friends thought it hilarious.
For maybe twenty-five years, I drank almost no alcohol. I had a few sips here and there. Then I discovered hard lemonade, which I like. Someone told me, “You can’t taste the alcohol,” and that was true. If I can’t taste the alcohol, why add it? Oh, that’s right, some people want to catch a buzz. I keep forgetting.
I’m not anti-alcohol. If other people want to drink, that is fine with me, but I’m not a good match for someone who drinks a lot. I dated a woman once who drank half a bottle of wine, stood up in a café, and started talking loudly with a Mexican accent. I thought that was too much. She felt I overreacted. She is a fantastic person, but we didn’t last.
One of my coworkers, David R, left half a bottle of rum at my house once, sort of as a joke. He knew it was safe with me, I wouldn’t drink it. The rum sat on the mantle at my house for months until a different friend, David B, visited and asked if he could have some rum. I said yes. I didn’t think he would drink it all, which he did. Months later, David R asked for his bottle back, and I had the unenviable task of explaining his rum was no more. He knew David B and cursed him a little while laughing. Good times.
In my mid-forties, I traveled to Ireland to visit friends. My friends drank Guinness Stout regularly, several pints at a time. I tried to join in. I managed to drink a few pints and gave up. And I thought American beer tasted bad. Guinness is a taste I will never acquire. I did drink some Irish whiskey that wasn’t terrible (I didn’t love it). One of my Irish friends told me whiskey was an old man’s drink. So, what’s your point, I thought. I’d try 20-year-old Bushmill’s Irish whiskey if it didn’t cost $160 per bottle.
I have a confession to make. I’ve never been drunk (on alcohol). I haven’t avoided drunkenness for moral or health reasons; I just can’t drink alcohol fast enough to get drunk. It doesn’t want to go down. A few years ago, one of my friends discussed all those times we used to get drunk in college, and I told him I’d never been drunk. He didn’t believe me.
I’m an old coot, and I occasionally drink (rarely), mostly during band gigs. If I hear live music in a bar, sometimes I’ll buy a beer to support the business. It doesn’t happen very often. For the most part, beer/wine/spirits aren’t for me.