My fiancé and I were planning our life together. We were getting married soon and discussed houses, children, religion, careers, and much more of our future. It was a thrilling time.
As the conversation progressed, she said, “I can work for a little while, but I don’t want to work all of my life.”
I said, “Me neither, but we’re going to have to.”
The conversation stopped. I think the temperature in the room dropped several degrees. Obviously, we had different expectations for our future.
As the conversation slowly restarted, I said that I wanted us to live within our means, not have debts, and to save money. I even mentioned the Grasshopper and the Ant.
She said, “I’ve always hated that story.”
I wasn’t earning much money then and was going to need financial help in our marriage, possibly for a long time. It seemed more important to me than it did to her.
During the marriage, she had a few jobs that she hated, maybe because they were jobs. I suspected she was sabotaging her career (she called in sick the second day at one business, for example). She was a brilliant person and a hard worker at home but rarely lasted long at any job.
Long story short, we didn’t last (a common thing for me, but that’s another story). And to be fair, the last I heard, she managed to live a long time without having regular jobs and got what she wanted, workwise at least.
I guess people will tell you who they are if you listen. That includes me, I suppose.